What is anger and the causes of anger, and the best ways to manage it? These are the questions asked by many people today. The urgency of this issue led to this article.
Anger is natural, and could also be an instinctive response to a perceived threat and sometimes could be essential to survive certain situations. But anger could become an issue when you have difficulty managing it.It could lead you to do or say things you would later regret.
Furthermore, uncontrolled anger is bad for physical and mental health. It could lead to a physical or verbal assault which might harm you or the people around you. Some people would even go to the extent of destroying properties and anything they lay hands on at the time.
It might not be you that needs it, but it could be a friend, a relative, or a co-worker, and your knowledge could help.
Causes of anger
Many factors could trigger anger, ranging from family problems, financial difficulties, stress, disorders like depression, or even alcoholism.
Anger is not considered a disorder but a symptom for many mental disorders.
Some causes of anger issues are as follows.
DEPRESSION
Anger is a symptom of depression caused by sadness or loss of interest that may have lasted for at least two weeks. People can suppress or express their anger, and the degree of anger shown differs from person to person.
COMPULSIVE COMPULSION DISORDER (OCD)
This is a type of anxiety disorder where a person shows obsessive thoughts or compulsive behavior. A person suffering from this disorder usually has disturbing thoughts, urges, or images which may drive them to do unusual things.
Sometimes such a person acts irrationally performing certain rituals like repeating some words or phrases, counting up to a number, or something like that, this they do because they normally believe that something bad might happen if they don’t act that way.
ALCOHOLISM
Alcoholism means drinking too much alcohol either at once or regularly. Alcohol impedes your ability to think, and make rational decisions.
ATTENTION DEFICIENT HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER (ADHD)
This is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by things like inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. The symptoms normally show from childhood and throughout the person’s lifetime. Most times it may not be diagnosed until the person is an adult. This type of disorder is characterized by anger and a short temper.
BIPOLAR DISORDER
This is a type of disorder that causes constant shifts in your mood, hence people with bipolar disorder are likely to experience anger, irritability, and rage. Their periods of mood shifts can move from maniac to depression, though not everyone would experience depression.
During their maniac period, they may
i.be easily agitated
ii feel euphoric
iii have racing thoughts
iv engage in pulsive and reckless behavior
During a depression period, they may
a. feel sad, hopeless, and tearful
b. lose interest in things they once enjoyed
c. have suicidal thoughts
INTERMITTENT EXPLOSIVE DISORDER
A person with this type of disorder is likely to experience episodes of aggressive, impulsive, and violent behaviors. Also, they may react to situations with outbursts and overreact to situations. These episodes normally last less than 30 minutes and the persons feel angry and irritable most of the time.
Other common behaviors that go with this type of disorder include
a. Arguments
b. Temper tantrums
c. Fighting
d. Violence
e Throwing things
Anger is an emotion everyone carries, but if you find it difficult to manage your anger, it turns to aggression, outburst, and eventually violence. This is why you need to find a way to manage it.
TYPES OF ANGER
There are three types of anger issues
A) OUTWARD: this involves showing your anger in an obvious way like shouting, cursing, throwing and breaking things, and verbal and physical abuse towards others.
B) INWARD: this is the anger you direct to yourself, it could involve negative self-talk, separating yourself from other people, self-harm, or even denying yourself certain things you enjoy as a way of punishing yourself.
C) PASSIVE: This involves indirectly showing your anger, like giving someone the silent treatment, being sarcastic, snide remarks, and sulking.
HOW TO MANAGE ANGER
1: COUNTDOWN
Firstly, start counting from 1-10, but if you are furious, start counting from 100 downwards.
2: TAKE BREATHER
Take several deep breaths and exhale, do this for about 30 seconds.
3: EXERCISE
Take a walk, ride a bike, do rope skipping, shuttle runs, or do any exercise, it works because exercise relaxes your muscles
4: REPEAT A MANTRA
Fourtly, find a word that works for you, a word that will help you focus and calm down. Repeat this word whenever you are about to get angry. Words like “Relax” “Stay calm” “You got this” and “don’t do it” are all good examples.
5: STRETCH
Yoga-like non-strenuous movements like neck rolls and shoulder rolls could go a long way in harnessing your emotions and controlling your body. It is a good anger management technique.
6: MENTAL ESCAPE
Go into a room, close your eyes, visualize yourself in a relaxing scenario, and imagine things like how beautiful the countryside looks, living on the seaside, playing on the beach, etc. This practice can help calm your nerves amid anger.
7: PLAY SOME MUSIC
Music! Just put on your headphones and play some tunes, let the music take your soul, and therefore take charge of your body and emotion.
8: STOP TALKING
Once the adrenaline rush starts, do well to keep your mouth shut f you continue talking at this point, angry words and verbal abuses are likely to fly out. So pretend as if you are dumb or your lips are glued to each other. This buys you time to get hold of your emotions.
9: SPEND SOME TIME ALONE
Stay away from people once the provocation comes and the anger starts building. This is very important to manage anger; avoid people and discussions that spark up your anger.
10: PICK YOUR PEN AND PAPER
Once your emotion starts boiling, channel your anger energy to something productive by picking your pen and paper, and doing some writing. You can write about how you are feeling at that moment, how you could have reacted, and how you would prefer to react. Taking your time to write redirects your thoughts and also gives you time to reassess the situation. In the end, it’s a win-win situation for you.
11: GET IT OUT OF VIEW
This is a good way of managing your anger, temporarily getting the situation out of view helps you calm down and reassess the situation. Sometimes shutting the door or asking someone to take it out of view helps, let’s assume you are angry because of a mess a child or someone left behind, shutting the door or telling the kid to go away or take the stuff away would stop you from overreacting.
12: REHEARSE YOUR RESPONSE
Rehearse what you are going to say or how to approach the issues helps to curtail your anger and to prevent an outburst. As a matter of fact, rehearsing your response gives you the time and chance to role-play and imagine certain possible scenarios that might play out. This makes you adequately prepared for possible outcome and eliminate the chances of a violent response from you
13: TALK TO SOMEONE
Additionally, do not process the issue all alone. Talking to someone gives you the chance to see the issue in a different light because the person would be viewing the event in a different light since he or she is not the one with the emotional burden. The person’s perspective of the event switches on the flashlights for you to re-assess the situation and probably review your response and prevent possible outbursts.
14: FIND A WAY TO LAUGH
Albeit, the best way to diffuse a bad mood is by finding a good one. Once you fall into a bad mood and the anger starts boiling, find a way to lighten up and find a laugh. You can do this by watching a comedy clip, looking at memes, or playing with some kids around.
15: FIND YOURSELF A REASON TO BE GRATEFUL
When everything around you seems bad, find yourself a reason to say “Yeah, I got this one” . Focus on the positive things at this point, and find reasons to live and move on and be grateful for the things you have done right. Let those be your oxygen and springboard for you to soldier on. This is a very good tool to manage anger.
16: TRY EMPATHY
At some point, try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Put yourself in their position, and find reasons with them. This might give you a different understanding of the situation, and help you find reasons to forgive rather than react.
Above all, remember this: anger is an emotion everyone carries, but if you find it difficult to control your anger, it turns to aggression, outburst, and eventually violence. This is why you need to find a way to manage anger.
